Never Too Late

It is never too late to apologize.

I had this thought a couple of weeks ago at a high school talent show. Not because I thought the performers should apologize, although, as I listened to the mixed a Capella choir slide off pitch and fall into an abyss, I tried to focus on the words they were singing rather than the fact each singer was in a different key. They hung in there and kept performing.

It's too late to apologize....

A pretty song but no, One Republic, I'm afraid I disagree. It is never too late to apologize. A sincere apology, no matter when it is offered, it better than no apology at all.

Sincere is, of course, the operative word. When my children were little and got reprimanded for an offense, they would sometimes respond with, "Well, soorrreeeey," complete with snarky tone and eye roll.  When they did this I refused to accept their apology. Not because I was a mean and terrible mom...well maybe I was, you'd have to check in with them...but because their apology was empty. They weren't sorry. They were angry, or arrogant, or just not ready to acknowledge what they had done, but the were definitely not sorry. Later, when they would offer a sincere apology, I could forgive and we would move on. But an insincere apology was pointless.

I've had to apologize numerous times in my own life. Too many to count. To my kids, husband, friends, professors, employers, strangers. Really, I've screwed up a lot. But...haven't we all?

I read once that we should never say the words, "I'm sorry," because it means we are accepting blame. Um...yeah. If you're a jerk you should accept the blame. How hard is that?

A few years ago I had a friend who, when approached about something he had done to offend me would say, "I hear that." Great. What the hell kind of answer is that? Now that we have established that your hearing is good, how about we attend to how you hurt my feelings. He never did. That might be one reason we are no longer friends.

Anyway, I'm not suggesting that we all go around saying, "Sorry. Oh, sorry, I'm sorry," every few minutes. We should, however, say I'm sorry when we have done something to offend another. Even if we didn't mean to.

I've apologized for things years after they happened, because it took me that long to figure out what went wrong and why I was responsible. I might not always be so quick on the uptake but, in the end, I knew I owed an apology so I offered it.

Because it was the right thing to do. And because it restored a relationship. And because it made me less of a jerk.

Of course nobody likes to be wrong. Even still, everybody is at times. An apology can't guarantee that the other person will forgive and forget but it can guarantee that you've done the right thing. And doing the right thing makes the world a better place.

It is never too late.