Holy Day of Romantic Obligation

So there you have it. Another Valentine's Day come and gone. All that candy at the grocery store will be half price today which, if you ask me, is the best thing about the Holy Day of Romantic Obligation.

I know this makes me sound cynical, but Valentine's Day is just so...weird.

It is jammed full of cheesy, mushy, sentiment and action which always makes me wonder. Do people really feel loved because someone bought them a card and a rose on a day prescribed by someone else to say, "I love you?"

I don't get it.

I'm not a fan. It's not that I'm not a fan of romance. Romance is all well and good but, pragmatic soul that I am, I don't really understand the point of setting aside one day per year for romance. I'm not one of those curmudgeons who sees the whole thing as a way for card, flower, and candy companies to make a fortune. Although it is.

The thing for me is, there are 365 days in the year. If you treat me with love and respect the other 364 days then you don't need to worry about Valentine's Day.  And if you don't treat me with love and respect the other 364 days...don't bother.

I don't mind being wished me a Happy Valentine's Day. It doesn't offend me and I don't assume the wisher is like those people who, during the Christmas season, insist on saying "Merry Christmas" because they celebrate Christmas and, it is their right to wish you a Merry Christmas, damnit. Somehow that seems to miss the point. Merry Militant Christmas!

Anyway, I accept a Valentine's Day wish for what it is, a sweet gesture. I just don't fill the day with a lot of expectation. I do buy chocolate for my family, but then I buy chocolate on a lot of other days during the year as well. When my kids were little I made heart shaped pizza and heart shaped cookies. I'm not an entire spoil sport.

Yesterday I visited my mother and gave her a heart-shaped box of candy. If she had a man in her life she would have demanded a loving gesture. But since she has pretty much extripated the hearts of all men she has deemed worthy of her affection and basically has no reason to live, I thought I'd give her a box of chocolates. I figure she can pick them out of their little fluted wrappers and devour them, one by one, much the way she does men. 

Nevertheless, the whole hoopla seems quite silly.

But it does make me wonder. What if we were more loving every day. Toward every one. I understand that Valentine's Day is about romantic love, but what about love for humanity? What if we tried to be more loving not only one day a year and not only toward our special someone. What if we were more loving to everyone. Or, if that is too idealistic, at least a whole bunch of people on a whole bunch of days.

Maybe we could be more loving toward someone who doesn't have the same political opinion as ours, or believe the same religious doctrine we do, who looks different from us, or even who cuts us off in traffic. What if we showed love to those people in....June?

What if when someone was rude to us, we simply ignored their unkindness, and responded with grace.

Or what if we chose to be generous, in whatever form, on a daily basis.

Or even just made eye contact and smiled at strangers, no matter how odd they might find us.

I'm not suggesting we eliminate Valentine's Day. I'm merely suggesting we make a loving attitude more expansive. We can still mark February 14 as the Holy Day of Romantic Obligation to keep flower shops and card manufacturers in business. I don't wish to take away the fun of celebrating love. After all, regardless of my other aversions to February 14, I like pink. And hearts.

And half-price candy.