What the World Needs Now....

A few years ago I fell in love with a man named Joe.

For the record, I'm married to a man named Steve. But I decided I would divorce Steve in order to marry Joe. This plan was complicated by the fact that Joe was a priest. Further complicated by the fact that Joe was dead.

I came to realize that what I felt for Joe wasn't a romantic love anyway. Good thing since he was celibate. What I loved about Joe was his beautiful soul and his generously offered kindness and compassion. Joe didn't judge. Joe loved. Joe didn't yell or bully or badger. Joe was grace in human form. Joe was a healer, not a destroyer.

Although Joe was a real person, I never actually met him (one more glitch in the plan of Holy Matrimony). I learned about him when I read the book Father Joe, by Tony Hendra. My friend, Debbie, gave me the book and her enthusiam for it was contagious. I couldn't wait to read it. And re-read it. And re-re-read it. And then Steve (whom I did not divorce) gave me a copy of the book on CD, read by Tony himself, and I fell in love with Joe all over again.

The thing that drew me to Joe was his ability to love. Even though he operated from a belief system, a doctrine and a religious order that had walls and boundaries and criticisms of those who didn't hold those same beliefs, Joe managed to break down those barriers and simply offer grace and love. Not just to those he agreed with. Not just to those he looked like. Not just to those he could control. He offered grace to everyone.

Everyone.

We need more Father Joes.

It is sort of like that scene in one of those Matrix movies where Mr. Smith replicates himself a zillion times and Keanu Reeves still manages not to show an ounce of emotion. I always thought the story would be better told if Neo hadn't been lobotomized prior to filming. I kept wanting to yell at the screen, "Hey Neo, dude, get a personality and then try to save the world."  But, whatever, that isn't exactly my point. My point is that in the movie the bad guy replicated himself into a whole bunch of bad guys and in our own real lives what we need is more people to replicate themselves to be like Father Joe. We need more people to offer grace and kindness. More people to listen and care and understand.

We have plenty of people being rude and mean and not bothering to listen. Particularly during this political season. It is truly ridiculous. One person yells and then the next person yells and the next and the next. Like Mr. Smith, all the nastiness keeps replicating. It is terribly loud. And annoying. And absurd. Really? Is this the best we have to offer? Are we truly unable to engage in the idea that 'the other side' might have a reasonable and viable viewpoint?

Of course not. We can all do so much better.

Here's the thing. Does all the yelling and snarkiness and criticism and fighting and dominating really change anything?  IfItalkfasterthanyoudodoesthatmakemypointgreaterthanyours? IF I YELL AND TALK OVER YOU DOES THAT CHANGE YOUR POINT OF VIEW?

No. And it never will.

But listening will. Truly listening to one another is the way to understanding. I don't mean agreeing. We won't ever all agree. Nor should we. Groupthink is dangerous. Very, very dangerous. If everyone starts thinking and believing the same thing we are in terrible trouble. Agreeing and understanding are two different things. The way to grace is understanding. The way to understanding is listening.

We all have the choice to make the world a better place. Love, understanding, grace. Those are the things that heal. Yelling, criticism, vitriol. Those are the things that destroy.

Every day we get to choose. Replicate the ugly or replicate the lovely. Each person is responsible for what they offer the world.

More Father Joe please.

Consuming Whimsy

A few days ago I took my maiden voyage to IKEA. Or, as some people like to say, I lost my IKEA virginity. I'd heard about IKEA, seen it in movies, but I'd never walked through the doors until recently. I really couldn't fathom all the excitement about a furniture store, but then I experienced it on my own and discovered that there simply isn't any accounting for reason when surrounded by cheap Scandinavian doodads made in China.

I got caught up in the consumptive frenzy that is IKEA.

It is important to point out that I'm not an entertainment shopper. By that I mean, I am not someone who shops out of boredom or habit or just for the sheer pleasure of it. I find it tedious and tiring and most of the time, if I go shopping it is because I need to find something specific.

But, lets face it, whether I like to shop or not, I'm still an American and I still buy far more 'stuff' than anyone will ever need. So while I may pride myself on not having to own the latest and greatest gadget, car, or palatial house, I hardly live a Spartan lifestyle. Especially when it comes to shoes. One need only peek inside my closet to know that I have a weakness for shoes. And all around the house my love of whimsy is all too evident. I'm a sucker for cute, silly, little things that have no purpose other than being off beat and unusual. Sadly, I'm as much as product of consumerism as anyone.

Fortunately, IKEA does not carry shoes.

Unfortunately, they do carry large, useless, plastic bowls that light up.

My first trip to IKEA came out of a desire to find a new desk. I have a perfectly fine, but aesthetically lacking, desk and having recently earned a PhD I deemed myself deserving of a new, more attractive, desk. I wanted something clean, simple, and inexpensive and even though I had avoided IKEA since it opened near my home a couple of years ago, the search for a desk seemed to warrant a trip. I truly had no idea what I was in for.

Let's just say that IKEA carries a lot of stuff.

I started feeling overwhelmed in the parking garage with its two levels and instructions on how to shop. The amusement park feel left me pondering if they should sell tickets for admission. Once inside, the cavernous, windowless structure was packed with merchandise and people. I felt a little woozy. Logic would have suggested that going to IKEA on a Saturday wasn't the best idea, but logic hadn't really played into the decision...and there I was.

I allowed myself to be hearded along the shopping path with the other shopping sheep, stopping to look at a desk here, a lamp there. And then, out of nowhere, I saw something I simply couldn't live without. I admit to being lured in by the bright yellow 'CLEARANCE' sign and the seductive $2 pricetag. But what really captivated me was the unassuming bowl that by day appeared to be a large, clear, plastic serving utensil.

But by night, this baby got its solar energy on and became this.

How could I resist? A two dollar bowl that glows in the dark? I got caught up in the moment and although I didn't go home with a desk, I did go home with my great bargain.

It wasn't until later that I started to realize I had no idea what to actually do with the bowl. There it was, my Scandanavian solar bowl, made in China, that served no earthy purpose.

Who doesn't need one of those?

I still don't know what to do with my solar bowl. When my siblings were here I intended to serve them watermelon salsa in it, anticipating the lovely red glow, but we ended up eating all of the salsa before it got dark. And I tried putting tortilla chips in it, but they just blocked the light.

I hate to admit it. I was bested by IKEA and made a completely unnecessary impulse buy.

Last night Steve and I returned to IKEA to purchase the desk that was the impetus for the original shopping trip. I found the one I wanted and headed for the checkout. I was doing very well, ignoring all the cute whimsy until this.

Damn that IKEA and their Scandinavian whimsy made in China. Consumerism wins again.