It's A Wonderful Life...

Yesterday was one of my favorite days of the year. The day my children and I go to the mall to see Santa. We’ve done it every year and the funny thing is that I, being rather frugal (okay cheap) never bought the ‘photo’ with Santa until Charles turned 18. For some reason I thought that year would be the last time that he’d go along with it all. Turns out, I was wrong. Our tradition is going strong and this year at ages 22, 20 and 15 they all sat on Santa’s lap, told him what they wanted for Christmas and got their picture taken.

And my soul is happy.

As a homeschooling family years ago, we’d choose a date that we thought would net the smallest crowds for setting out to shop for daddy, see Santa and go out for lunch. As the kids grew older and situations changed we’d always reserve one day for our annual outing. Now we adjust around work schedules, college finals and high school but we nevertheless always find a day to spend together. And we always go out for lunch, shop for Steve and see Santa.

A couple of years ago we went to Target to shop for Steve. He is a little nerdy at times. But hey, who doesn’t love a nerd? He likes little gadgets and quirky flashlights and things. Our favorite one to mock him over is the little ‘over the ear’ flashlight that looks like it wants to be a Bluetooth headset when it grows up. Anyway, somehow we ended up in the isle with all sorts of just the types of gadgets the kids mercilessly tease Steve for liking. There was much hooting and laughing as they found the geekiest items possible, each choosing one they thought they could get the most mileage out of. Regaling Steve with the stories of the party we had in the isle at Target was almost as much fun as the actual party in the isle at Target!

So, yesterday we made our annual trip. We had to wait for Parker to finish his last final exam and Anna had to skip a couple of periods of school but we made it to the mall and stopped to see how long we’d have to wait to see Santa. We were told Santa was on a break. If the dude can fly around the whole world in one night does he really need a potty break? Regardless, he was on a break and would be back at 2:15. But, I was told we could get an express pass which would allow us to get in line at 2:00. That seemed odd to me. Couldn’t I stand in line whenever I wanted? Whatever. I got the pass and we headed off to the food court for lunch. Boys to Panda Express. Girls to Paradise Café. We ate our lunch, told stories, laughed and had a wonderful time. When we finished we headed out to see our guy, Santa!

When we got to Santa’s village the line was short and we were greeted by a cute young man in Lederhosen. Charles had been complaining earlier that he didn’t like his current job and I suggested that he apply for a job as one of Santa’s helpers and he too could wear Lederhosen. He didn’t find me helpful. But as we were standing in line one of the helpers came up and told me that I needed to go to the elf desk and get an express pass. I said I already had one. He asked for what time. I handed it to him and said 2:00. He looked at it and said we were late. So, I told him we were having lunch at 2:00 and then I added, “You’re a cocky little elf, aren’t you?”

Being somewhat used to unpredictable and inappropriate things coming out of my mouth, my children began to laugh. Elf man didn’t seem all that amused but he did smile and pretended to find me funny. He walked away and the kids began to make up scenarios in which we never get to the front of the line to see Santa because the Lederhosen police always find a way to let others go in front of us as punishment for my bad behavior.

In reality, the wait to see Santa was relatively short. When we reached the front I asked the cocky little elf if he realized I was only joking. He assured me he knew I was joking and that what I said was far and away much less offensive than what some parents had said to him who were not joking! That made me feel sorry for him so I asked him if I could have my picture taken with him. We posed for the photo and I invited his Lederhosen look-alike to pose with us. He then asked if the photo would show up on Facebook. I said yes and asked if he wanted to sign a waiver. He said no and he was pretty sure he was already all over Facebook. In Lederhosen. That made me feel sorry for him all over again. I was hoping his photo was with small children and not a lot of cougars who have a thing for young men in Bavarian dress.

It seemed a humbling job.

Anyway, the kids went in to sit on Santa’s lap and Santa was a jokester and told Charles a political joke. We had some fun banter with Old St. Nick and then went on our merry way. We did a little shopping before ending our day of fun.

I love that my children make that day together a priority. I love that they cheerfully oblige me by sitting on Santa’s lap. I love that when one of Charles’s friends asked him what he was doing that day he told him he was going to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap. I love his friend’s response even more! “Dude, really?” I love the photo that results from our outing and I love the memories made each year. I love the laughter. I love the relationships. I love my children. That one day per year is the best gift I can ever hope to have.

I hope the cocky Lederhosen clad elf man/boy’s mother is as blessed as I.

God Bless Us Everyone...Even You Ugly Van Man

I had an interesting experience today. Not one I have ever had before and I can honestly say it is not one I’d like to have again! If I believed in karma, I’d have to assume I’ve been doing some bad stuff! As it was, I think I was just a normal human with a lot on my mind who made an error and encountered someone who seemed to be having a bad day.

Or maybe a bad life.

I spent an inordinate amount of time on the telephone this morning getting quite a run around regarding my mother’s Medicare and Supplemental insurance. I’ll spare the boring details but it was a somewhat maddening experience and I felt a little like I was in a cycle from which I couldn’t escape. My mother’s well being was hanging in the balance and given her cognitive abilities these days I simply couldn’t ask her to take care of her own business. So…I cycled.

I finally got the phone number of someone whom I was assured could help me. I called the woman and left a message asking her to call me at her earliest convenience. I then proceeded to go to my mother’s apartment to pick her up for an appointment. What I found, when I got to her apartment, however, was a very disoriented and ill little old woman. Once again she had failed to take her medications the previous day. She often forgets to take the evening dose which renders her feeling ill the next day but she had not taken a single pill yesterday and she was really unwell today. I began the process of attempting to get her to take her pills, making her toast to get food in her stomach, cancelling her appointment and getting someone from building maintenance to clean the carpet upon which she had vomited.

My attempts were not very successful and it seemed her heart was racing and she was having trouble catching her breath. I contacted the nurse where she lives to see if she would come to my mom’s apartment to assess the seriousness of the situation. Eventually the nurse, Juanita, was more successful than I in getting medication and some food in my mother. I went to the store to get some things she could easily swallow. Once I dropped those things off and felt confident my mom would be okay I left to go pick Anna up at school.

I noticed my fuel light was on telling me it was time to put gas in my car. I was going to make a left turn into the gas station and my phone began to ring. Ordinarily I would ignore my phone while driving but, because I was waiting for the woman to call me back regarding Medicare and I didn’t want to miss it, I checked my phone. I was very distracted as I almost pulled in front of an oncoming car. I stopped and waited for other cars to pass and a young man in an ugly old van behind me honked impatiently. Undaunted by his impatience I waited until I thought it was safe but then the light turned so I waited longer. This did not endear me to Ugly Van Man. Nor did it endear me to the woman on the corner waiting to cross the street with a small child and another in a stroller. Because it was a beautiful, sunny, warm day I had my window down and she began to yell at me for blocking the crosswalk. I was sorry that I blocked it but Ugly Van Man was right on my rear bumper making it impossible for me to back up.

The light turned green and I proceeded to make the left turn and go into the gas station. The man in the van (it had curtains, this should have been a tip off) followed me and when I pulled up to the gas pump he pulled up beside me and yelled out his window, “You are a stupid, fucking, bitch, aren’t you?”

I am guessing this was a rhetorical question as he didn't wait for my answer.

He drove away and I got out and put fuel in my car. As I left the station I noticed the same, rather distinctive, van parked in the parking lot. I drove to a parking spot a couple of isles over and searched frantically for a piece of paper. I couldn’t find anything that didn’t have my name or address on it and I thought it would be a bad idea to write this man with a rather ugly temper a note on paper revealing my identity. I’m brave but not that brave. And contrary to what he thought, I am not stupid!

Eventually I found a blank envelope and I jotted a quick note to the impatient man with the ugly van. I said that I realized I had made an error in judgment at the light and had inconvenienced him. I added that I hope when he made a mistake that others would be less harsh in criticizing him. I concluded by suggesting that we could all work toward making the world a better place by being kinder and less judgmental. And certainly less vile...but I didn't add that part.

Just as I finished the note and was about to exit my car to go put it on his windshield, I looked up and noticed that the van was moving! Darn it! I followed him for a good bit, hoping for the opportunity to address him or give him my hastily crafted note but he kept turning in directions that took me in the exact opposite direction that I needed to go. And it was getting late.

I abandoned my mission to try and kindly admonish Ugly Van Man and went on my way. But, because I couldn’t address him, I opted to address anyone who might read this blog.

I don’t claim that my driving skills today were stellar. I don’t claim that what I did should not have evoked some frustration on the part of others. But really, following me to be insulting? Not only does that go beyond lacking class…it certainly doesn’t do anything to make this world a better place. So he had to wait an extra 120 seconds to make the left turn. In the grand scheme of things, does that really matter?

The incidents of my day didn’t constitute a crisis, merely a distraction. I don’t advocate driving while distracted but there are times when it is difficult to avoid. How did yelling obscenities at me help Ugly Van Man? Did it really make him feel better to behave in such a vitriolic manner? No, I didn’t take his hateful words to heart. I didn’t internalize his nasty message. But I did think it was terribly sad that he was so selfish that he couldn’t just let my error pass. I’m willing to bet he has made a mistake before too.

Kindness really isn’t so hard. Overlooking the faults of others just isn’t that difficult. If I am going to criticize you for your mistakes then I need to acknowledge that I make them too. We can all try to be just a little kinder. Can’t we?

Grace and peace to you, Ugly Van Man.