What the World Needs Now....

A few years ago I fell in love with a man named Joe.

For the record, I'm married to a man named Steve. But I decided I would divorce Steve in order to marry Joe. This plan was complicated by the fact that Joe was a priest. Further complicated by the fact that Joe was dead.

I came to realize that what I felt for Joe wasn't a romantic love anyway. Good thing since he was celibate. What I loved about Joe was his beautiful soul and his generously offered kindness and compassion. Joe didn't judge. Joe loved. Joe didn't yell or bully or badger. Joe was grace in human form. Joe was a healer, not a destroyer.

Although Joe was a real person, I never actually met him (one more glitch in the plan of Holy Matrimony). I learned about him when I read the book Father Joe, by Tony Hendra. My friend, Debbie, gave me the book and her enthusiam for it was contagious. I couldn't wait to read it. And re-read it. And re-re-read it. And then Steve (whom I did not divorce) gave me a copy of the book on CD, read by Tony himself, and I fell in love with Joe all over again.

The thing that drew me to Joe was his ability to love. Even though he operated from a belief system, a doctrine and a religious order that had walls and boundaries and criticisms of those who didn't hold those same beliefs, Joe managed to break down those barriers and simply offer grace and love. Not just to those he agreed with. Not just to those he looked like. Not just to those he could control. He offered grace to everyone.

Everyone.

We need more Father Joes.

It is sort of like that scene in one of those Matrix movies where Mr. Smith replicates himself a zillion times and Keanu Reeves still manages not to show an ounce of emotion. I always thought the story would be better told if Neo hadn't been lobotomized prior to filming. I kept wanting to yell at the screen, "Hey Neo, dude, get a personality and then try to save the world."  But, whatever, that isn't exactly my point. My point is that in the movie the bad guy replicated himself into a whole bunch of bad guys and in our own real lives what we need is more people to replicate themselves to be like Father Joe. We need more people to offer grace and kindness. More people to listen and care and understand.

We have plenty of people being rude and mean and not bothering to listen. Particularly during this political season. It is truly ridiculous. One person yells and then the next person yells and the next and the next. Like Mr. Smith, all the nastiness keeps replicating. It is terribly loud. And annoying. And absurd. Really? Is this the best we have to offer? Are we truly unable to engage in the idea that 'the other side' might have a reasonable and viable viewpoint?

Of course not. We can all do so much better.

Here's the thing. Does all the yelling and snarkiness and criticism and fighting and dominating really change anything?  IfItalkfasterthanyoudodoesthatmakemypointgreaterthanyours? IF I YELL AND TALK OVER YOU DOES THAT CHANGE YOUR POINT OF VIEW?

No. And it never will.

But listening will. Truly listening to one another is the way to understanding. I don't mean agreeing. We won't ever all agree. Nor should we. Groupthink is dangerous. Very, very dangerous. If everyone starts thinking and believing the same thing we are in terrible trouble. Agreeing and understanding are two different things. The way to grace is understanding. The way to understanding is listening.

We all have the choice to make the world a better place. Love, understanding, grace. Those are the things that heal. Yelling, criticism, vitriol. Those are the things that destroy.

Every day we get to choose. Replicate the ugly or replicate the lovely. Each person is responsible for what they offer the world.

More Father Joe please.