This is Pretty Normal, Actually

It is hard to know what is normal these days. But having a party at the end of October seems like a fairly normal thing to do. And, it is not fake news to anyone who knows me, that I love a party.

I wouldn't exactly define myself as a party girl. For one thing, I'm not a girl, and for another, I generally keep my wits about me when throwing a party. Yes, I give in to plenty of laughter and perhaps even some outrageous behavior, but that isn't due to the influence of alcohol. That's just how I act. Anyway, the point is, I love a party and can generally find any excuse to throw one. October was no exception.

Side note: My family has been given strict instructions that when I die they are to have a party in my honor. I don't want a sad, gloomy remembrance. They have been told to throw a party with lots of laughter, maybe some dancing, plenty of food, and an abundance of goofiness. So, if I die and you see my family doing the gloomy thing, you have my permission to 'mean mug' them the whole time. 

That said, I am very much alive at the moment and, in fact, one of the reasons I so enjoy a party is that it gathers people together in a spirit of joy and community and life celebration. I love the laughter and food and stories. There is a feeling of unity when friends gather to celebrate. Rarely does it matter what is being celebrated. What matters most is that we are together embracing life and shared humanity.

To that end, in October we had a witch party. I'm not entirely sure it was my idea to begin with. I honestly can't remember. It isn't at all unusual for my friends to decide they want to have a party and to ask if we can have it at my house. My friend, Debbie is the queen of theme parties so it may well have been her idea originally. A few years ago, at her behest, we had a 1960s themed Christmas Party after I inherited the silver aluminum Christmas tree from my childhood. The primary reason for that party was to drink martinis, dress my daughter as a young, pregnant woman smoking and drinking 1960s style, and to take photographs. Because that is normal. Right?

A Witch Party was all about dressing up and dancing. When I first put on my orange striped witch socks I declared it the happiest day of my life which, admittedly, might have been a little over the top but wearing witch socks was especially satisfying. Until they started cutting into my thighs. But hey, fashion is pain. Even for witches, apparently.

We make a pretty convincing couple of hags, don't we?

A gathering of costume clad friends and family obliged our request that they attend as witches and warlocks, except for a couple of people who stretched the definition. Nevertheless, they came dressed up and that was good enough for us! Anna's boyfriend had loaned her his cow costume and Steve wore it for a few minutes. He was stripped of his costume, however, when he claimed that he was a warlock whose spell had gone, 'udderly wrong'.

Nope. No more cow costume for you.

This was before he made his bad pun.

The bovine warlock did show up again later, however, when Parker opted to put it on, having been unsure what constituted warlock wear. Granted, witch clothing, in the form of black hats and striped socks, does seem easier to come by. We ended up with a cadre of witches and warlocks, with one gender confused cow, and a Star Trek guy. Because, that is normal. Right?

I love my people!

I got a little taken up by the whole thing in the days leading up to the party and, although she didn't attend, I gave Mommie Dearest a witch hat. She liked wearing it. She seemed to have an uncanny sense of belonging in it. She was pretty convincing when she pretended to cast a spell on me. Ever since then I have felt the urge to supply my mother with alcohol and men.

"You'll forever do my bidding!"

Of course I had to dress up the dog because...that is normal. Right? Sadie didn't seem nearly as pleased to wear it as my mother did. She also didn't seem nearly as threatening. I think she was imploring me to let the newts keep their eyes. Sadie is a very empathetic dog.

"Why me?"

Finally, I couldn't resist putting it on the cat too. He seemed least thrilled of anyone. He looks downright despondent about the whole thing. I'm pretty sure if there had been a magic wand around I'd be scurrying about as a mouse right now.

"This is so humiliating."

Anyway, my mother and pets aside, our witch party needs were met, for this year, as dear longtime friends and a couple of special new ones joined in the fun. We all gathered on our outdoor deck for a bit dancing with the warlocks on the sidelines, bewitched by our spectacular talent. Because, that is normal. Right?

In all, it was the perfect October evening gathering. Grown adults, dressed in costumes, dancing, and finding joy in the company of one another. Ironically, that really is what's normal. The current political debacle is decidedly not normal! The division, and culture wars, and lack of civility is NOT normal.

It also doesn't represent the majority of people. The majority of people are good, caring, and loving, with an abundance of humanity and bewilderment at the appalling condition of our country. I truly believe this. The majority of people are, indeed, normal.

So, a party with people we love, dressed up as mythical beings, feels pretty normal currently. All the witches and warlocks don't view our current cultural and political situation the same. And we don't have to. Because in the end, that isn't what matters. What matters is our shared humanity, our ability to see past our difference, and our mutual love for one another.

And striped socks. Those matter.

That is normal. Right?

Making Lemonade...with Salt...and Tequila

I've always liked the trite little saying about what to do if life gives you lemons. Although, I admit, I like the one about adding salt and tequila better.

We had the opportunity to put all this lemon business to good use when we were planning Anna's graduation party recently. We've known Anna was going to graduate from high school for some time. Eighteen years to be exact. But we didn't start thinking much about having a party to celebrate her graduation until spring. When she asked if she and her friend, Anna, could have an Anna x 2 party I was, of course, more than happy to throw it. It was a party, after all.

 

We assumed most of the party would be held outdoors in the backyard, but you can't always count on the weather so we knew it might also end up being held indoors. Either way, the party was good motivation to do something about the dreadful, old, carpet that remained in our hallway and stairs. This was very old carpet. Very old carpet that needed to go away a long time ago. It hadn't, because we couldn't decide what we wanted to replace it with. But, the party was coming up so we finally decided to just replace it with new carpet.

 

The plan was to have the new carpet installed in time for the party. As the party date drew closer, however, the plan started to unravel, a little like the nasty old carpet in the hallway. It wasn't going to happen. At all. The carpet delivery had been delayed and the installation couldn't happen until the week after the party.

 

Well. Dang.

 

We considered what to do. We could cancel the party. (Cancel? A party? Are you kidding?) We could postpone the party. But the invitations for June 1 had already been sent. We decided to weave the lack of carpet into the party.

 

Recently I wrote a blog post about writing our family story on the floors of each room as we replace the carpet. You can read it here.  Anna suggested we modify our tradition and use the ill-timed carpet mishap as a way to include the party guests in our family story. 

 

What a great idea!

 

I immediately went to work removing the carpet and pulling out the tacking strips. I put a fresh coat of white paint on the floor and stairs, bought a package of 12 colored Sharpie pens, and wrote a little explanation in case party guests wondered why they were invited to write on the floor in permanent marker:

 

"Ours is a house in transition. At any given time there is a renovation project in process. The plan was to have new carpet for the graduation party. But, plans don't always happen the way they are supposed to. Our new carpet it somewhere in the United States. Just not in our house.

Plan B.

As we have replaced flooring in our home I have written a bit of our family history on the sub floor in each room, which has later been covered up but creates the story of our lives within these walls.

It is our belief that a house is a dwelling, but the soul of a home is created in the lives and relationships of those who both live here and come in as our guests.

So...about the carpet...

...since there isn't any, we are inviting our graduation party guests to take liberty on our stairs and hallway floor. If you would like to, we would love to have you write your name, a message, a thought, or whatever on the floor. Next week, when the carpet is installed, your message will be hidden but will become a part of the soul of our home.

Thank you for sharing our joy at the Anna x 2 Graduation Party.

And thank you for adding to the story of our family...and the soul of our home."

 

Our friend Spencer got things started by declaring the date of the party. Debbie added that it was also her birthday.

 

 

And people kept adding things. Some messages were simple.

 

 

Some more wordy.

 

 

Some drew pictures.

 

 

Some were random.

 

 

Some strategically placed.

 

 

Some wrote for others who were halfway around the world.

 

 

And after a while some started responding to what others had written.

 

 

When the party was over, we had a sweet masterpiece that, even covered with carpet, we'll always know is there. Expressions of love and friendship grace every step.

 

 

And exist outside every bedroom door.

 

 

It turned out that not having carpet was a blessing. The guests had fun and I'm pretty sure ours was the only party this graduation season that included floor writing. I think that might make me cool. Finally. I've always wanted to be cool.

 

Or, maybe it doesn't. I'm not sure.

 

Regardless, we loved reading every message over and over. We spent the next couple of days savoring the words friends had written because we knew it would be just a few days before it was all covered up; like a secret hidden message only our family would know was there. Well, plus the 50 or so other people who wrote things. But anyway, the point is we loved it.

 

Although it was a fun and creative way to have a party, I am ready for the carpet to be installed. We are expecting guests for a long weekend and it will be nice to have new, plush, carpet when they arrive at the end of June.

 

Except it has now been two weeks since the party and we still don't have carpet. It seems it got lost. And then found. While our new carpet was off having some sort of religious experience the days kept ticking by. Today the installation company told me it won't be installed until July.

 

So much for having things nice for our guests. I guess they'll have to sign the floor too. 

 

Pass the Sharpies.

 

And the tequilla.