Appreciate the Cabbage....

My garden is in and, once again, I’ve started talking to my plants. Every morning I get up and pour a cup of coffee, don my red polka dot gardening boots (fondly referred to as boots of Chinese plastic, ala The Pretenders) and amble around the yard saying good morning to the flowers, herbs, and vegetables, and asking how everyone is doing. Steve observes this with some bemusement although I think as long as I don’t suggest the plants are talking back he’ll just let me do my thing without interference.

Last year I planted my first garden. I deemed it wildly successful although I only grew squash and tomatoes which are pretty much no-brainer garden vegetables. A little sun, a little dirt, and a little water and off they go producing abundantly. I felt quite accomplished even though I wasn’t really doing much. With the right elements, stuff just sort of happens.  

This year I’ve ventured into new and exotic territory with some eggplant, cabbage, beets, and onions. I  also added watermelon and pumpkins to the squash patch. But the squash started grousing about the crowded living conditions almost immediately and I’ve already had to put on an addition.

Nobody likes a grumpy squash.

Providing them more space meant I had to relocate a huge wood pile, replete with spiders and creepy crawly bugs. Fortunately no snakes have taken up residence in the pile, or if they have, they weren’t home when I moved it. Hauling all that wood to a new location and digging up the ground for more squash homes wasn’t my favorite activity but it made them happy and I’m pretty excited to see my first big, orange pumpkin ripening on the vine, so I didn’t grouse back.

Thus far my garden is a peaceful little place and my morning ritual brings me joy. Gardening seems a little like parenting. There are all kinds of elements that can harm my plants. Voracious bunnies, zealous raccoons, bugs, and birds, and fungus. So, while I might occasionally need to prune and shape and tame my vegetables, what it seems they need from me most, beyond the essentials of life, are affirming words. They need to know they are doing a good job of being vegetables.

And, I'm pretty sure everything likes to hear that it is beautiful. Even an eggplant.

When my children were young I was quite vigilant about them being kind to one another. No name calling. No physical violence. No criticisms or making fun of one another. I’ve been told, more than once, that my expectations were unreasonable. But I don’t think they really were. I made a point to teach my kids that the world has plenty to offer in the way of unkindness. People will say and do hurtful things, but at home, everyone has to feel safe and loved. Everyone needs to hear affirming and loving words.  It wasn’t, and still isn’t, a foolproof plan. But that doesn’t keep me from trying.

A home should feel safe.

Whether home is an apartment, a house, or a cedar box in the backyard, kind words foster health. I’ll probably spend the rest of the summer talking to the plants and telling them what a good job they are doing. And, I'll probably tell my mostly grown up children how proud I am of who they are becoming. I'll tell the eggplant it is lovely and my manchildren they are handsome. I'll exclaim at the beauty of the petunias as well as my gorgeous daughter. When a plant gets unruly, I'll carefully trim it back and when one of my children is being less than I know they can be, I'll remind them to be their best.

It’s easy to see the beauty in a flower. It takes looking deeper to find the beauty in a cabbage. But even the cabbage needs to feel appreciated.

It’s no different with people.