Surviving the Apocalypse...

The world is coming to an end tomorrow.

If only I'd lost ten pounds first.

Okay, I have to admit, I'm not really bracing for the end of the world. I'm not even sure how one goes about bracing for it. And, since the end of the world has been predicted on a number of dates throughout my lifetime, but so far all of those predictions have been wrong, I'm guessing the one about tomorrow will be too.

I've seen a few articles refuting the prediction, a couple even came with guarantees that the world would not end tomorrow. I thought that was interesting. I mean, you can guarantee it but, if you are wrong, who is going to hold you accountable?

Anyway, by Saturday I suspect most of us will have survived the apocalypse and lived to tell about it. And while I might like to lose ten pounds, if this were my last day on earth, my biggest regret would not be that I hadn't gotten around to losing them. Or that I hadn't gone to the gym enough. Or that I don't have Michelle Obama arms.

I'm not sure I have a biggest regret. I do have a fairly extensive collection of smallish ones, though.

I wish I hadn't gotten sent to the Principal's office in elementary school for writing a note to a boy which contained ugly sentiments about his mother. I don't remember his name and I'm pretty sure I never met his mother. I don't even remember why I wrote the nasty note, but he started crying and I got sent to the Principal's office for it. I didn't get in any trouble really. I was required to tell him I was sorry, but that was it. I was relieved my parents didn't get a call though. I can only imagine that my mother would have been disappointed in my pathetic attempt. Surely I could have been more caustic.

Anyway, it was mean and I wish I hadn't done that.

And sometimes I shudder when I think back on a conversation I had with a highly educated and articulate man. At the time I had embarked on a new life mission to be open and vulnerable with people, to compliment freely and without concern for whether they would think I was weird. Nothing about that goal is regrettable. But somewhere deep in my core I have the feeling I said something along the lines of, 'I'm so impressed by how articulate you are, for a black man.' Seriously? Was that last part necessary? I don't regret being open but I do regret being ignorant.

Anyway, it was stupid and wish I hadn't done that.

I am happy to report that I never wrote another nasty note about someone's mother (besides my own, I mean) and I never again added the caveat for a black man (or any other unnecessary qualifier) to a compliment. It would be nice if I could say these are the only two regrettable things I've ever done. But they aren't. Not by a long shot. As I said, I have a fairly large collection.

The thing is, I can't change anything about the past. Although I try to live without regret, sometimes stuff happens that, in retrospect, I wish hadn't. Sometimes I make bad choices. I can either beat myself up over my mistakes or I can learn from them and move forward. Life is messy. Mistakes are bound to happen. Focusing on the past doesn't do any good. But learning from the past does.

I figure surviving tomorrow's apocalypse will provide me with the opportunity to start fresh. The past is the past and it's over. Whatever regrets I might have about the past can be turned into anticipation for something positive in the future.

It is never too late to live a better life.

Or to lose ten pounds.