This Old...And Full...House

I’m not a ‘saver.’ One of those hoarders that keeps everything and collects the junk of everyone else. I definitely do more tossing than keeping. Perhaps that comes from my desire to live in a small house. You can’t keep a lot of junk in a small house. Well, you can keep a lot of junk but that makes for a cluttered and crowded living environment. When it comes to people, though, I think I might be a hoarder.

A couple of weeks ago Parker moved back home after a six-month stint of apartment dwelling. His roommate, Jesse, move in with us too. And now my little house has six adult-sized people living in it. Every bedroom has a resident and the basement doubles as a family room and Jesse’s bedroom.

My soul is happy.

I don’t think I’ll be one of those mothers whose purpose in life leaves when her children do but, I know that when they are all home and under one roof I am happiest and most content. They are all pretty independent; coming and going as their work schedules, school schedules, and social lives dictate. And, they bring in all manner of junk food that I would never buy. That makes Steve happy. I mean, it would be rude for him not to eat it with them, right?

The times when everyone is actually home, in the house, and interacting are very rare. But, when they occur, they are wonderfully fun. There is laughter and joking and a spirit of loving comaraderie. I didn’t give birth to Jesse but I might as well have. He fits in perfectly.

And so I savor.

I savor because I know that these young men, all in their early 20s, won’t live here for that long. And I know that Anna, right on their heels, won’t be far behind. It is right and good that they will launch into accomplishing their various goals and aspirations. I wouldn’t want them to be emotional cripples who can’t leave mama. Well, okay, I do want that a little. But that isn’t what I hope for them. I want to see them move on and thrive. When the time is right.

But, for today, the time is right for them all to be here, in my house, bringing their youthful joy and spirit, leaving piles of shoes at the front door, eating Oreos and chocolate milk, and coming and going on a 24-hour schedule. The bustle and commotion bring me joy.

Someday my house will be empty and quiet. Of course, by then I’ll have my dissertation finished and I won’t need a quiet and empty house! And Steve says that isn’t true anyway, that when the kids are gone I’ll just invite stray cats, dogs, and people to live with us. He might be right. But they won’t be my precious children.

For today, I savor the time I have with them. They are giving me a valuable gift not only of their presence but by teaching me to hold them tightly in my heart and loosely with my hands. To take each day as it comes and to cherish the time, right now, because it won’t always be this way. Life doesn’t slow down. It doesn’t stop. I won’t get these moments back. There are no ‘do-overs.’ There is only right now to drink it in and embrace it.

Let tomorrow bring what it will. Today, I embrace the joy.