A few weeks ago I wrote of my encounter with an ugly spirited man. I was disheartened by the man’s lack of grace and his need to verbally attack me. But, in the last two weeks I have been remind that there are many simple examples of grace and kindness and I have been abundantly blessed by several ‘Good Samaritans.’
For whatever reason, these stories all revolve around vehicles. Which is interesting, sort of, because if I had my way I’d never drive anywhere. I don’t, however, live in a community that is conducive to non-motorized mobility so I have to drive.
Recently Anna and I inherited a Ford Ranger that had originally been owned by Charles and then driven by Steve. But, because it is big and sturdy and 4-wheel drive and Anna is getting her license soon, Steve wanted Anna and me to drive it. We decided to ‘pimp’ our ride and make it a little more girly so we bought a flowered steering wheel cover and cute floor mats. It was a bit too unkempt inside for our taste so I splurged twenty-bucks and went to the Auto Spa to have it cleaned inside and out. While waiting for the young man who was cleaning the interior to finish the job, I noticed him pulling the door handles of the closed truck. The doors were locked. It was amusing to watch other employees attempt to open the doors and then walk away chuckling to themselves. Eventually a manager came in and said ‘his guy’ had locked the keys in the truck and did I have a spare key? No. I didn’t. He asked if he could give me a ride to my house to get a key. I explained that I only had one key. The one locked in the truck.
After profuse apologies the only thing he could think to do was call a locksmith. But that would take time. He offered to take me somewhere if I needed him to. I said I could wait. Anna was with me and we weren’t in any hurry. We watched as various employees of the Auto Spa tried a number of creative, albeit unsuccessful, attempts to unlock the truck. A few minutes later, though, I watched in wonderment as a man who had also gotten his car cleaned, lifted his teeny-tiny little daughter into the bed of the truck. There is a little sliding window in the rear of the cab and he instructed his daughter to climb through the window and push the power lock button. She followed instructions perfectly and the truck was unlocked! He got in his car and almost drove away before I could run out to thank him. I gushed and gushed over the little girl proclaiming her ‘hero’ of the situation and she blushed proudly. They drove away and the cleaning crew finished my truck and threw in cleaning the tires for free! Not that I really felt the need to have clean tires. But the gesture was kind and thoughtful. The man could have just driven away with his daughter without helping. He didn’t. He took the few extra moments to help and as a consequence the Auto Spa didn’t have to pay for a locksmith and I didn’t have to sit around waiting for an hour. The gesture was small but uplifting.
Take that Ugly Van Man!
Meanwhile Parker has been having constant car problems. Besides mechanical difficulties of an unknown origin, he slid on a patch of ice in a recent snowstorm and slammed into a curb causing damages that cost him a considerable sum of money to repair. For most of this year his car has been in repair mode and as a college student he is often living on a shoestring. Last week a man from our church walked up to Parker and handed him $100 toward his car repair. Just like that. Parker didn’t ask. In fact, Parker hadn’t even really mentioned the repairs. The incident on ice had occurred just as he was getting to church one Sunday morning and he arrived a bit rattled but other than that he hadn’t made a big deal of it. He was surprised at the gift and told me later that he planned to pay the man back. I told him that he certainly could offer to do so but that I suspected the man would rather Parker ‘pay it forward’ by doing something kind for someone else. The best payback would be to tell the man how he had ‘paid it forward’ and that his kindness had inspired Parker’s kindness.
Ugly Van Man, who?
Yet another event occurred today that was an act of pure kindness. I took the truck in to get new brakes. I thought it would be a quick errand. It ended up being a much bigger project with much more repair work. While in the garage the mechanic was showing me all the things wrong and all the parts that were worn and needed to be fixed. I had no idea what he was saying but I shook my head and pretended to know what he was talking about. When he finished I jokingly said, “Are you just telling me all this stuff needs to be fixed because I’m a woman? Because I know about cars. I’ve poured Coke on the battery posts before.” He didn’t exactly know I was joking and assured me he wasn’t taking advantage of me. I went back into the waiting area and an older man who had also been in the garage came in and told me that he had listened to what they were telling me and he believed that they were being honest with me. Apparently nobody got that I was joking. I told the mechanics to go ahead and do the work even though the cost had gone up by $500! I asked how long it would take because my one hour estimate had been totally unrealistic and I needed to get Anna at school in a few minutes. They said it would take a couple of hours. The same man immediately stepped up and said he would give me a ride to get Anna. I declined because the school wasn’t close by but he said he was retired, didn’t have anything else on his agenda for the day and would be happy to help me. And it would, indeed help me. So, I said yes.
As we drove I thanked him and he told me the story of his neighbor who is a very busy professional but who always makes time for kind gestures toward others. He said he wanted to be like that man ‘when he grew up’ and looked for opportunities to extend kindness whenever he could. Yes, Anna thought it a bit peculiar when I showed up at school with a strange man in a strange car. And yes, Parker did call me later to ensure I wasn’t tied up in the back of a windowless van but I assured both of them that felt perfectly safe and would not have accepted a ride if I’d had even a moment of concern.
I hadn’t really lost my faith in humanity after the Ugly Van Man incident but I did feel discouraged by his rudeness. The events of the past couple of weeks have reminded that there are kind souls everywhere and there is much to recommend the idea that our kindness not only encourages others but is forwarded and encourages others which is forwarded and encourages others….
Mother Teresa said, “God loves the world through us.”
She was right.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
365 Days of Possibility
Okay, so it seems a little cliché to write a blog entry on January 1. But, I’ve never been one to shy away from a good cliché so, here goes.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how I live my life and about how I can be sure that the life I’m living is a meaningful one. In recent years I have rather smugly said that I don’t make New Year’s resolutions because New Year’s resolutions seem rather doomed to failure. Why create personal failure on purpose? But, I think for most of us those failures come as a result of creating New Year’s resolutions that don’t really make us better people. I’m not saying that a resolution to lose weight or eat better or exercise more is a bad thing, I just don’t think those resolutions are necessarily things that project us toward betterment of our relationships or of improving the world in which we live. Sure, better health can help us with more energy and more confidence but the motivation seems lacking when it is all about doing something just for ourselves.
So, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions to lose weight because I’ll probably have failed at that resolution by January 3rd or 4th.
But I realize that whether I call them New Year’s resolutions or not, I do tend to view the beginning of a new year as something of a blank canvas upon which to paint a prettier life picture.
A while back I was on a walk and thinking about my life which in any given day can seem like the most wonderful gift full of freedom and joy in one minute and aimleslessness and lack of purpose in the next. I recognize that if I could rewind my life and play it back I wouldn’t change anything so my restlesslessness about not having enough life purpose seems moot. But, I have many days, regardless, that feel like they are filled with activity but not activity that really matters.
Years ago I gave up a good career to stay home with my children. I knew there was tremendous potential for a lucrative career but I wanted to be intimately connected with my children and something in me knew that the years would fly by more quickly than I wanted them to and I intended to spend as much time as I could in the company of the people I loved. So, I gave up the income and the prestige and the potential and chose instead to invest heavily in the lives of my children. I wouldn’t change a thing. I have amazingly close relationships with my kids and I think I can take at least a little bit of credit for the wonderful people they are and will continue to become.
Now that the job of raising them is almost over I have new horizons for which to aim. But the horizon gets a bit blurry at times. I still have to finish the job of raising my kids. When that is done, what will I do with the rest of my life? How will I live so as to make this world better? I’m not sure of the answers to those questions just yet. I remember reading Jimmy Carter’s book A Remarkable Mother and being inspired by Lillian’s decision to volunteer with the Peace Corp at age 68. Am I a prospective Peace Corp volunteer? I don’t know. I do know that I feel like there is plenty of time for me to do whatever it is I’m supposed to do, even in the last third of my life.
All of this is to say, I won’t be making any New Year’s Resolutions to lose weight in 2011. And I don’t know that I’ll look at January 1, 2012 and know exactly what my life’s purpose is. But I do think I’ll resolve to be more aware in 2011. More aware of how my day-to-day life influences those around me. How my day-to-day life makes my small influence in the world better rather than worse. I am sure there will be days that feel meaningless but in the larger scheme I hope I end 2011 with a greater sense of having done what I could.
Some people will live lives of grand influence. Some will live lives of smaller influence. I’m open to whatever God directs but I know that without a degree of intentionality in how I live my days and without developing a discipline of paying attention to the purpose of my life, it will slip by quickly and quietly and opportunities will be lost.
We all have a purpose. If we fill our days with meaningless activity we will miss our purpose.
So…here’s to 2011 and meaningful days.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how I live my life and about how I can be sure that the life I’m living is a meaningful one. In recent years I have rather smugly said that I don’t make New Year’s resolutions because New Year’s resolutions seem rather doomed to failure. Why create personal failure on purpose? But, I think for most of us those failures come as a result of creating New Year’s resolutions that don’t really make us better people. I’m not saying that a resolution to lose weight or eat better or exercise more is a bad thing, I just don’t think those resolutions are necessarily things that project us toward betterment of our relationships or of improving the world in which we live. Sure, better health can help us with more energy and more confidence but the motivation seems lacking when it is all about doing something just for ourselves.
So, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions to lose weight because I’ll probably have failed at that resolution by January 3rd or 4th.
But I realize that whether I call them New Year’s resolutions or not, I do tend to view the beginning of a new year as something of a blank canvas upon which to paint a prettier life picture.
A while back I was on a walk and thinking about my life which in any given day can seem like the most wonderful gift full of freedom and joy in one minute and aimleslessness and lack of purpose in the next. I recognize that if I could rewind my life and play it back I wouldn’t change anything so my restlesslessness about not having enough life purpose seems moot. But, I have many days, regardless, that feel like they are filled with activity but not activity that really matters.
Years ago I gave up a good career to stay home with my children. I knew there was tremendous potential for a lucrative career but I wanted to be intimately connected with my children and something in me knew that the years would fly by more quickly than I wanted them to and I intended to spend as much time as I could in the company of the people I loved. So, I gave up the income and the prestige and the potential and chose instead to invest heavily in the lives of my children. I wouldn’t change a thing. I have amazingly close relationships with my kids and I think I can take at least a little bit of credit for the wonderful people they are and will continue to become.
Now that the job of raising them is almost over I have new horizons for which to aim. But the horizon gets a bit blurry at times. I still have to finish the job of raising my kids. When that is done, what will I do with the rest of my life? How will I live so as to make this world better? I’m not sure of the answers to those questions just yet. I remember reading Jimmy Carter’s book A Remarkable Mother and being inspired by Lillian’s decision to volunteer with the Peace Corp at age 68. Am I a prospective Peace Corp volunteer? I don’t know. I do know that I feel like there is plenty of time for me to do whatever it is I’m supposed to do, even in the last third of my life.
All of this is to say, I won’t be making any New Year’s Resolutions to lose weight in 2011. And I don’t know that I’ll look at January 1, 2012 and know exactly what my life’s purpose is. But I do think I’ll resolve to be more aware in 2011. More aware of how my day-to-day life influences those around me. How my day-to-day life makes my small influence in the world better rather than worse. I am sure there will be days that feel meaningless but in the larger scheme I hope I end 2011 with a greater sense of having done what I could.
Some people will live lives of grand influence. Some will live lives of smaller influence. I’m open to whatever God directs but I know that without a degree of intentionality in how I live my days and without developing a discipline of paying attention to the purpose of my life, it will slip by quickly and quietly and opportunities will be lost.
We all have a purpose. If we fill our days with meaningless activity we will miss our purpose.
So…here’s to 2011 and meaningful days.
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